Have some fun this Halloween! I have some awesome halloween jokes, puns, and riddles to help you do just that! Lets get to it. Tee hee hee 🙂

I love Halloween jokes!

So I may have almost told a lie a couple of days ago. I said I was done with Halloween posts and here I go again. In my defense I could just call this a jokes and riddle post but lets face it. Its Halloween jokes! They are so silly yet fun and the Halloween puns can be endless. I had to weed through quite a few to pick out some of my favorite Halloween jokes. Hope you can get a laugh or two out of them like I did!

Here you go! Enjoy some Halloween jokes!

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How do ghosts like their eggs?
Terror-fried!

Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!

What’s the first thing ghosts do when they get in a car?
Buckle their sheet-belts!

What do you call a skeleton who won’t work?
Lazy Bones!

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray!

What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice scream!

Why do witches fly on brooms?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough!

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts!

What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling!

Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!

What is a mummy’s favourite type of music?
“Wrap” music!

Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?
He was a pain in the neck!

Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
Because you can see right through him!

What did the werewolf eat after he’d had his teeth cleaned? 
The dentist!

Where do movie stars go on Halloween?
MaliBOO!

Who did Dracula bring to the prom?
His ghoul friend!

What rule does a polite little ghost always obey?
Don’t spook until spooken to!

What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house? 
A wide scream TV!

What do you call two witches that live together?
Broom mates.

Why can’t you tell a skeleton anything? 
Because it goes in one ear and out the other!

Where did the vampire go to open a savings account?
A Blood bank!

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A cereal killer!

What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet!

How do you keep a skeleton from laughing?
Take away his funny bone!

What do ghosts say when they hear great jokes like these?
Booooo !!!

Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry? 
They’re afraid of flying off the handle!

What is a vampire’s favorite flavor of ice cream?
Veinilla

Why couldn’t the mummy attend the meeting?
He was all tied up.

What magazine do ghosts love to read?
Good Housecreeping!

What is a ghost’s “golden rule”?
“Boo unto others as you would have others boo unto you”.

What do ghosts say when they run out of Halloween candy?
Boo Hoo!

How do witches tell time?
With a witch watch, of course!

Why do witches prefer to live in hotels?
They like the broom service!

Who do monsters always buy their cookies from?
The Ghoul Scouts!

Why do mummies make good spies?
Because they know how to keep things under wraps!

What kind of pets do ghosts have?
Scaredy Cats!

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They’re too wrapped up in themselves!

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck!

What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure!

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation!

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This is it! #1!!

…and yet some MORE Halloween jokes!

Hahahahah hah hah

A monster and a ghost went to a party. Suddenly the said to the ghost, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
The ghost replied, “Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.”

It was late Halloween and three young vampires went into a club and walked up to the bar. “What will you have?” the cool looking bartender asked. “I’ll have a full glass of warm blood,” the first replied. “I’ll have a full glass of warm blood, too, thanks,” said the second. “I’ll have a full glass of warm plasma,” said the third. “OK, let me get this straight,” the bartender said. “That’ll be two bloods and a blood light?”

One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as “Rocky” in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more. “Aren’t you the same ‘Rocky’ who left my doorstep several minutes ago?” I asked. “Yes,” he replied, “but now I’m the sequel. I’ll be back three more times tonight too.”

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And finally, our final Halloween set of jokes! With only a few days before the 31st I am going to end with some “Halloween Definitions” I made a printable to go with this. It will be on my Facebook page to spread some laughs 🙂

Mummy: Who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.

Boogieman: Guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.

Full Moon: What your plumber reveals when he bends over to fix your sink.

Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking.

Skeleton: Any super model.

Witch: See “Mother-in-Law.”

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That’s it for the Halloween jokes.

For other Halloween posts of mine go HERE. :):)

Thanks for stopping by!

Enjoy!

Jillene