My 30th Wedding Anniversary and some marital advice!

Yes, you saw that title right. TODAY is my 30th Wedding Anniversary and I am going to share some marital advice. I think 30 years qualifies me, right? 😉 Actually I was given the opportunity to share some marital advice on a campaign  a wedding website was was doing. It was really fun to think about the questions they asked of us. Of course I gave fairly brief answers but sometimes I feel like I could write a book on this. It is a subject I LOVE! I rarely talk about my marriage and more rarely do I do so on my blog but today is different.

TODAY…

All about Kirt & Jillene.

Married November 23rd, 1984

A couple of days ago I was driving down the road and a song came on one of my playlists. Yes, OUR SONG {one of many}. When Kirt & I were 16 years old we would go to weekly Saturday night dances. They would always play Lionel Richie’s “Still”. Always. And we would dance to it together because it was the “in love song” at the time. Now, remember this was like 1979-1980. Yep! I still remember the butterflies I felt at the time. It was a feeling like none other and I would take that feeling home with me and smile and daydream with those wonderful thoughts and memories in my head! Well, taking us back to 2014 circa… 2 days ago and Lionel Richie’s “Still” coming on the radio while driving down the road. Of course I immediately thought about the love of my life, and guess what else happened? Guess! I got butterflies! That same feeling. And Kirt wasn’t even with me. Yes, my love still gives me butterflies after 35 years together and 30 years of marriage! 

 Now how about some of that Marital advice?!!

This content is taken from the interview We did for “Distinctive Soirees” , a wedding planning website. You may visit that post HERE. 

How did you meet?

Well, first of all we believe we met in the “pre-existence”. We also know we were MFEO. Yes! We were 15 years old before we met again. The complete version could be a chapter book, hahah. He claims to be introduced and notice me a year earlier than the official meeting (which I don’t recall)  and I noticed him a couple of months prior to our first meeting and couldn’t get him out of my head. So here is the very short version… We met when we were 15 through mutual friends and summer baseball games. My hubby was the pitcher on a team in which I had friends I went to see… he caught my eye and we hung out after that! We ended up having a high school class together that fall. The rest is history!

When did you know you were in love?

Once we started dating, we believe we were destined to be together. There was an instant spark and connection that was very powerful. We seemed to be in love from the start! We knew we were young and we tried to test the field but always ended up back together! I think the “real” moment when the feeling was strongest was our final date before he left to go on an 18 month mission for our church at the age of 19. I knew I wouldn’t see him during that time and it was a huge sacrifice on both our parts. I knew I loved him without a doubt and we would survive this time away from each other. Truth is we grew an even stronger connection during that 18 months. We were married 3 short months after he returned!

What are the most profound Love Lessons that you’ve learned since being married?

1) We believe that you must develop an interest in each other’s interests to truly be happy together. (for example: He learned to love dolphins through my strong interest and we collected them as souvenirs from vacations… I learned to love watching and rooting for certain sporting teams he liked.)

2) You must be mindful of your spouse’s feelings. Forget about being right or wrong and focus on feelings and then nurture those feelings. 3) Kiss each other EVERY day. My husband was given this advice and hasn’t missed kissing me every morning we were together through our whole marriage! Don’t let anger get in the way of this. This one thing will create a bond that will bring great blessings to your marriage.

What is the most important thing for a wife to know?

Jillene: You WILL have differences with your spouse. Be mindful of this and you will be more accepting of things that will otherwise bother you. Find out what his “love language” is. What does he most enjoy? Your service? Your time together? Physical touch? Communication? Whatever it is, try to focus more attention on that area. Compliment him, defend him, show him acts of kindness, and surprise him (in a good way)!

What would you suggest new husbands focus on to maintain a happy home?

Kirt:  Always put your wife first! It will come back to you in ways unimagined. Compliment her, listen to her, spend time with her, and most importantly help her when you can!

Jillene: Yeah, what he said! 

How would you counsel a newly married couple to prepare them for their lives together? 

Go into marriage realizing that there is need for compromise. It’s ok to be wrong, even if you don’t believe you are. Disagreements will happen, but avoid anger…it will only result in hurt feelings. Never keep secrets (aside from surprises) from your spouse. Communicate daily and discuss issues as they arise. Listen to your spouse and try to feel how they are feeling in those moments. Express your love daily… give compliments, say it, and show it in your actions.

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

These are things that we have found to be beneficial to a strong and happy relationship…

DON’T STOP: holding hands, dating, saying I love you, kissing slowly, dancing together, hugging, and more of the same!

DO THIS: take vacations and getaways together, grocery shop together, spend at least 10 uninterrupted minutes a day to listen to each other tell about their day and any new news to share.

Kirt & Jill <3

We were supposed to be on some great cruise or vacationing in an exotic location for this special occasion but instead we are home. HOME. Our new home we just moved into yesterday. Arranging furniture, unloading boxes, etc… And thats ok because we are together. Its always special when we are together. We don’t feel like getting fancy today either. So we will find something to eat for dinner and maybe we will break out the candle light. And reminisce and enjoy the moment. A blissful moment. The moment we celebrate 30 FABULOUS years experiencing the best decision we have ever made….

Our Marriage!

I hoped you enjoyed my little story and didn’t mind me sharing some of my marital advice. I’m gonna go spend some time with my one & only now!! 😉